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calcates
Feb 24 min read
Fixed
I opened the New York Times app this morning to see, As Kids, They Thought They Were Trans. They No Longer Do. Cue complicated somatic...
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calcates
Jun 19, 20235 min read
Don't Be A Meme
In Embrace Fearlessly the Burning World, Barry Lopez, lifelong humanitarian, naturist, author, and lover of the earth and all of its...
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calcates
May 25, 20224 min read
Shooting in the Dark
“Why does this keep happening?”, we ask in heartbroken disbelief. It keeps happening because it’s an option. The ubiquity of guns in this...
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calcates
Apr 23, 20224 min read
Why I Get Up
I like to ask real questions. When I meet a person and they say, “My husband this...” or “My wife that…” I regularly ask, “Do you like...
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calcates
Jan 20, 20222 min read
Moments: Exhibit A
A morning like so many others. Uneventful. Lunch-making and listening. The stagnant grey of mid-January in northern Virginia calling...
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calcates
Dec 24, 20211 min read
Replenish
Love and merriment to you, friends. I hope you'll make time to be overcome, if only momentarily, by blessed gratitude for whatever it is...
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calcates
Dec 18, 20215 min read
Don't Let the Santas Keep Us Down
I love joy. Love. It. Surprise? Bring it! Magic? Yes, please. Perhaps what I love most about these experiences is that they are available...
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calcates
Dec 11, 20214 min read
Harmless
I’m going to tell you a story. It’s still happening. To me. Inside me. This story is not about you in any specific sense. That said, my...
1 comment
calcates
Aug 31, 20213 min read
Gender Crazy
Since spreading the word about my top surgery in January of this year, I have heard from friends both close and distant asking if I would...
1 comment
calcates
Aug 7, 20213 min read
The Thin Pink Line
I think a lot about what it means to a woman. Female is easy to tag. It’s biology. It’s anatomy. With some notable and important...
1 comment
calcates
May 6, 20213 min read
Bound Up (explicit)
We are nothing without each other and yet, we treat each other like we’re nothing. We have got to do so much better. Last night, my...
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calcates
Jan 25, 20214 min read
Dear Body
Dear Body, As your only and most faithful tenant these many years, I must say, you’re the bomb. Lest you think me a common mid-Atlantic...
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calcates
Jan 15, 20213 min read
Is that Folgers?
“Gah! That guy just spilled my coffee!” Actually, “that guy” just spilled whatever was in your cup. Could have been water. Could have...
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calcates
Dec 31, 20203 min read
Resolve
I live in Arlington, Virginia “Arlington will be a diverse and inclusive world-class urban community with secure, attractive residential...
1 comment
calcates
Dec 21, 20205 min read
Mind the Gap
Remember that scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where he comes barreling down the stone passageway into what looks like a...
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calcates
Dec 15, 20207 min read
When the Boob is on the Other Foot
On Monday morning, I went to a consult with a surgeon to see about having what is often called in the trans community "top surgery." For...
1 comment
calcates
Dec 8, 20207 min read
The Shadow Knows
I have been hanging out at the bedside of dying people for about 15 years now. Every time I tell someone who doesn’t also do that work...
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calcates
Dec 2, 20205 min read
Trigger Happy
“Ugh. That thing she said? It totally triggered me.” How many times have you heard this or something like it in the last handful of...
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calcates
Nov 16, 20203 min read
Do I Look Small in This?
I’ve been reading The Person You Mean to Be: How Good People Fight Bias by Dolly Chugh. Oh, man. Every time I pick it up, I make sure I’m...
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calcates
Nov 4, 20202 min read
Alive
Humans are afraid of death. Don’t fight me on this. It’s a thing. It’s well-documented. There are those of us who have worked to make...
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